I took a deep breath to try and soothe my nerves that were quickly overtaking me. There were butterflies fluttering in my stomach, like an anxious teenage girl going on her first date. I inhaled deeply and exhaled, finally allowing my body to relax. “Anytime today Shannah,” I whispered to myself as I stood outside of the restaurant with a mixed bouquet of purple flowers: callunas, rhododendrons, and petunias, the 3 flowers Shannah use to always keep on her desk in college; Except for one day, the day Shannah finally asked me would I go out with her (it was a hypothetical), but I froze up. Instead of saying hell yeah I would go out you like I wanted to, I stayed quiet for what had to be the longest 5 seconds of my life. When I finally got up enough courage to say what I felt, the moment had passed and Shannah made it clear that she didn’t believe me. As if that day couldn’t get any worse on the way out of Shannah’s dorm I knocked over her flowers and broke her vase. That single incident would lock me in friend territory to this day.
“Daniel,” Shannah called out as she walked up. I reached out my arms and held her; I pulled back and let my eyes take her in. She was so damn beautiful and so fucking sexy, she made me want to rip off her clothes and fuck her right there. “My Nubian Goddess, how have you been?" “Well and you?” she pulled me down to her and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I’m good.” I tried to keep myself from fidgeting. “These are for you.” I steadied my hand and gave Shannah the flowers, she flashed a kid like smile and said thanked me; we shared some small talk before heading into the restaurant. As the waitress showed us to our seats my eyes stayed locked on shannah’s body. The form fitting short black dress showed off Shannah’s shapely thighs and a little bit of cleavage. Everything that dress left to the imagination, I imagined. We were seated in a semi-circle booth, where we ordered and the waitress went on her way. We scooted closer to each other and Shannah sat the flowers in the space between us. I wanted to ask was this thing between us over and was it the reason that she could go two months without seeing me.
“I was starting to think you were avoiding me,” I said.
“I just needed some time after the break up.”
“You usually come to me after your breakups.”
Now Shannah looked like the nervous one. “It was different this time.”
I wanted to know more, “how?”
She shook her head, “I don’t know.”
“Hey,” I rubbed shannah’s hand. “You can tell me anything.” Please don’t tell me you still want Marlon. The waitress brought our drinks and went on her way. We thanked her in unison and jumped back into our conversation.
“I needed to reflect on what really made me break up with Marlon.”
“And?” I placed my hand on her thigh.
“I don’t know.” She paused after every word.
I glided my hand up her dress and leaned in about inch from kissing her. “Maybe he’s just not the one.”
Shannah froze and just stared into my eyes. “Maybe, but what are you doing?”
“Testing the waters,”
Shannah kissed me on my lips and our tongues showed just happy they were with our reunion. Shannah playfully bit and sucked on my bottom lip. The waitress showed up with the food and our kiss ended, but I yearned for another kiss that always felt like the first time.
Which was in 1994, we were 16, juniors in high school and for the most part we didn’t know each other. It happened that we were both hiding out in the movie theater waiting for it to start. I was sitting in the corner of the last row when she walked up. “Hey, I bet you don’t recognize me, I bumped into you on the first day of high school and caused you to drop your Walkman.” She took a seat next to me in the empty theater aside from us and the usher cleaning. “Every time I see you I feel guilty, can I pay you back?” she looked sincere about paying for a Walkman she broke in the 9th grade. “It’s okay, I got a new one.” I lifted up my Walkman. “Okay cool, sorry again.” As she went to leave I grabbed her hand, “aren’t you in my American History class?” She sat back down, “Yeah, but you don’t come to class?” We both laughed. “Hey sometimes, my name is Daniel Fernandez.” I extended my hand, “Shannah Summers.” She shook my hand.
We talked about everything and anything like we were old friends. Somewhere between siblings and favorite shows we started to hold hands. The moment would’ve been perfect if it wasn’t for the usher harassing us. He cut in our conversation, he frequently looked at us and sucked his teeth, and he kept pretending to sweep in our area. He obviously had a problem with how close Shannah and I appeared to be. It was the 90s, why the hell does race matter. Well that’s actually bullshit considering that 5 years ago our neighborhood of Overtown experienced one of the biggest riots to hit Miami and it was about race; but I was tired of apologizing for something that had nothing to with me. As sexy as Shannah was and as much as I was enjoying our conversation, I wasn’t about to back up off her for some jealous dude that would probably end up with a white chick. I tried not to let him bother me but when he intentionally swept over Shannah’s feet, offered a fake ass apology and as he walked away and called her a sellout bitch loud enough for us to hear; I went to stand up to address him. Shannah stopped me. “Baby, don’t be upset I was in the way.” She pushed up the armrest and felt on my chest, then mouth for me to play along. I looked at the usher who cut his eye at Shannah. “Baby why don’t I come over there?” she continued. “Sit on Daddy’s lap.” I help her into my lap. The usher watched us hard and without shame. Shannah pretended to kiss me on the neck, but whispered in my ear “see he’s too scared to mess with you, so he’s picking on me, so let’s give him a show.” Shannah began kissing me with a subtle hunger that sent chills through my body. Her kiss became rougher and more passionate. Soon I couldn’t give a damn about the usher. The kiss ended too soon for me, we wouldn’t speak again until freshmen year in college.
The memory brought a smile to my face and made my lips ache for Shannah’s. I leaned in for another kiss, but Shannah jerked back, “We can’t do this.” I would’ve paid for a picture of my face when she said that. “What just happened?” Shannah avoided looking at me, “I don’t think we should sleep together anymore.”
“What was just now?” I referred to our earlier kiss.
“Lapse in judgment,” she shrugged her shoulders.
“Whatever you want,” I was upset but I knew if I showed it we would both be upset.
I needed advice, so I went to visit Uncle Kevin at his auto shop. Kevin was a 60 or so skinny dark skin man with a salt and pepper goatee that I met through Shannah. “Uncle Kev I can’t believe she cut me off.” I complained while Kevin worked on a car. “Uncle Kev I need your advice, talk to me.” Kevin slid from under his car and put away his wrench. “What do you want me to say, I can’t change her mind and as far as I see it all good things come to an end, but you still have your best friend.” Uncle Kevin wasn’t telling me anything I wanted to hear. “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I realized just how pathetic my situation is.” Kevin got us a beer and pulled up a chair. “Explain.”
“I followed behind Shannah to college and just knew we would get together and leave college practically married. It started out perfect, but 16 years later we’re friends, sometimes with benefits. “Okay.” Kevin processed the information. “You followed her to college?” “Yeah,” I took up my beer. “So you really love her?” “Of course, I went to lunch today with every intention of telling Shannah how I felt, but she shut me down and became distant after.” “Listen young blood that’s an old school black woman. If you want her you’re going to have to man up and say it because she not going to take the hints or read the signs or between the lines or whatever you guys do now. She wants you to say what you want; and the only reason you’re pathetic is because you choose to be.” I gave Kevin a confused look; he took a swig of beer. “You know what makes a good relationship?” I didn’t respond, “Friendship.” Kevin answered. “You two kids have chemistry, attraction, honest and sincere love and most importantly friendship. There is no good reason why you two aren’t together and I’m inclined to blame the people not the situation.” Kevin stood up and stretched his back. “I’ll tell you this, a woman like that won’t be available for too long, but you should know that.”
“Hey Sharon,” I said as I strolled into her house as if it were my own. Sharon took a seat on the sofa, placed a pillow in her lap and motioned for me to come. I sat my purse down and spread out on the sofa with my head on a pillow in Sharon’s lap. “Why so sad, when you wanted this?” “Not wanted it, Needed to do it.” Sharon began to stroke my hair, “How did he take it?” “He was pretty cavalier about it. He didn’t even ask why, he was like whatever you say.” I know how I came off. “Is that bad?” Sharon looked at me. I sat up and faced her, “If a guy says whatever you say in a situation like that then he is saying whatever to the pussy.” I directed both of my hands at my lap. “My pussy is not whatever pussy, it deserves some argument.” I could tell Sharon was amused. “You’re mad because he respects your decision enough not to argue?” “Don’t patronize me. I know what I’m talking about.” I paused to find to the words. “I just wanted one time when Daniel fought for me. One time would have validated why I could leave a man that cared about me, why I can’t keep a relationship or why I’m so much happier when Daniel’s around. I wanted to feel wanted.” I wiped a tear out my eye. “Society has fooled all men and most women into thinking that a black woman isn’t worth keeping or fighting for; and I think they fooled me too.” Sharon pulled me into her arms. “Don’t say that.” I sighed, “End of the day I left a guy who may have cared about me (even if it was only infatuation) for a guy who could do without me.” I retrieved my purse. “I have an exit strategy.” I held up the bundle of folded computer paper. “What the fuck?” Sharon scrunched her face. “It’s a detailed effective way to slowly but surely exercise Daniel out of my life. Granted an apocalypse doesn’t kill us all, I will be Daniel free by 2013.” Sharon didn’t say anything. But I did read you’re crazy on her face.
As I put on my lotions and body oils later that night I tried to imagined a life without Daniel. Shit! I thought to myself he’s been around for so long it was hard to fade him out. I put on my sexiest lingerie, hooker heels and sat up in bed channel surfing. I settled on Nick at night before I must’ve drifted. Daniel’s cinnamon colored body appeared in front of me. He was completely naked and glistening in sweat that made his rippling muscles, chest and abs look impeccable. He teased my pussy lips, ripped off my underwear and disappeared between my legs. “Fuck,” I moaned shamelessly as Daniel ate me out like between my legs held the reason for life itself. My body squirmed from the depths of pleasure experienced at Daniel’s will. “Where do you think you’re going?” Daniel pulled my squirming body back to him and held me down so I couldn’t move. He licked between my lips, dipped his tongue in and out my pussy and sucked on my clit until I couldn’t take it anymore. “Oh goodness,” I grabbed on his black curly hair as I climaxed. When I opened my eyes, my fingers were dripping in my juices.
I cleaned myself and cuddled up to the edge of my bed remembering the night when a wild college grad party turned into Daniel and me hooking up. Daniel and I had fucked like it was the end of the world, and waited for the other to break the awkward we fucked silence. Daniel was breathing hard from our earlier adventure when he asked, “ready to talk?” “About what?” He caressed my waist, “about us fucking?” I sat up on my elbows, “We fucked. A physical activity like…Football, it didn’t mean anything, right?” I looked at Daniel for assurance. He shrugged his shoulders, “I guess so,” “We’re both unattached adults who slept together. We may never sleep together again or maybe we will, but as long as we aren’t hurting anybody I don’t see anything wrong with beneficial friends. “ “Friends with benefits can ruin actual friendships; are you ready for that?” “Yeah I guess,” “okay.” He cuddled up to me and cupped my breast. “See I’m such a good friend I’m like a bra; I support you.” We both began to laugh uncontrollably. I found myself still dying of laughter when I heard a knock at my door. I threw on a robe, headed for the door and looked through my peep hole. Interesting was all I could think as I opened the door. “Hey.” His smooth smile was undeniable. “Hey.” I eyed his duffle bag suspiciously. He brushed pass me without a word and headed straight for the dining room. When I came up behind him he was unpacking his duffle bag. “What are you doing?” I asked. He ignored me and set two flutes and a bottle of Pink Pino Grigio on the table. I stood right in front of him this time, “What are you doing?” I folded my arms and waited for an answer. He didn’t even look at me, instead he unwrapped a plate of cut up strawberries and bananas and a saucer with a single piece of cheesecake. I was becoming increasingly infuriated by him ignoring me, “Marlon!” I screamed. “Yes baby,” he said with indifference to my screaming. He unfolded a napkin that contained a fork and set it on the fruit plate. I lowered my voice, “what is this?” “It’s for you,” he pulled out a chair for me to sit down and took a seat diagonal from mine. “Marlon we’re not together anymore.” Marlon grabbed my hand. “I know that and I can’t accept it. I love you Shannah and I can’t just let you go without out a fight.” This was really happening out of nowhere, “but Marlon -“ “I’ll do or change anything just tell what you want baby.” Marlon got down on one knee. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world and I don’t want to experience life without you.” He pulled the small box out of his pocket. “I actually don’t want there to be a you and me anymore just an us.” He flashed the ring and I knew I had a decision to make. “Marry me?” I sat there stationary for a moment. I replayed the events of the day and others from all throughout my life. “What’s stopping you?” Marlon asked. I stared at him blankly for a moment, “Nothing… Okay,” I jumped up. “I’ll marry you.” “Really?” He put the ring on my finger before I could answer. “Yeah,” I said then we embrace and kissed like we never did before. I ran my hands up and down Marlon’s muscular arms and broad shoulders. I laid my head on his chest and let his body encompass me. I looked up at Marlon’s chiseled face and smooth brown skin and without a doubt he was a very handsome man. It was the reason I agreed to go out with him in the first place. I rubbed his package and kissed him deeply encouraging him to take me to bed. He scooped me up into his arms and carried me upstairs the way a groom carries a bride. When we got into the bedroom Marlon pushed my robe off and eyed my lingerie with hunger in his eyes. “Expecting a wild night?” He smirked. I started to undo his jeans, “Now I am.”
Now I wish I did have a wild night, but that’s just not the case. After 3 minutes of fantasizing about Daniel during sex, Marlon came like a fire hydrant. Then he rolled off of me to go call his mom leaving me to finish myself off. He was definitely a selfish lover, but that wasn’t my dilemma. I stared at my cordless phone so hard that I thought it would combust into flames. I wanted to tell Daniel about the engagement, but my nerves got the best of me and I decide to leave announcements for the morning.
I woke up Saturday morning ate some breakfast with Marlon, seen him off, went over designs for work, and just sat there playing random computer games for a couple of hours. There I was with the phone, the phone and me, me and the phone. It was a little after 1 in the afternoon when I started making calls, when I told my mom she sighed and said “Marlon? I didn’t see that coming.” Now when I told my dad he chuckled, okay he full out died laughing “Yeah the fourth time is the charm. Sweetie I’ll believe it when you say I do.” I ran into an external road block when I got to Daniel, he wouldn’t answer the phone. I called around and when I couldn’t get in contact with him I called his mom. Who informed me that her nerd of a son dropped his phone in the toilet; no doubt hands on the aimer and with the phone wedged between his shoulder and ear. He always did that. I surf bridal sites for a while and around 2pm called the most avid Daniel supporter and most passionate Marlon hater.
“Hey,” Sharon finally answered. “I’m getting married!” I yelled, “To Daniel!”
“Uh oh no girl,”
“Then to who?” “Marlon.” “What?” Sharon screamed in my, “You can’t stand Marlon.” “Support me, please?” “I don’t support mistakes.” “Call you back.” I ended my call as Marlon walked in with two glasses of red wine, “guess who I seen while I was getting the wine?” I feigned interest, “Who?” “Daniel,” he plopped down on the sofa. “I broke the good news.” “Why would you do that?” “For the same reason a winner wants a trophy.” Marlon kissed me, “So the losers know their place.”
I never found out exactly what Marlon said to Daniel, but it pissed him off enough to cut me off. Daniel evaded me for about two months before I finally gave up. I thought Daniel would never come around, so when he showed up at my door tipsy I didn’t know how to feel. “Where’s Marlon?” Daniel stumbled through the door “He’s out of town (or at home, who knows). We’re not chained together.” I closed and locked the door behind him. I followed behind Daniel who stopped in the kitchen. He staggered over to me, “You’re ruining your life.” “You talk to me now?” “What’s your exit strategy say?” I could hear the hurt in Daniel’s voice and it hurt me too. “Shay you wanna get rid of me that bad?” I grabbed Daniel’s hand and looked him straight in the eyes. “We can’t be friends.” “What the fuck!” He snatched his hand back. “Have you lost your mind Shay, you can’t be my friend, but you can marry a man you don’t even like! You make no fucking sense because your sham of a marriage will end, Marlon will find another trophy wife, and I’ll still be around.” “Maybe that’s the problem!” “Maybe it’s you giving sorry ass dudes chance after chance, but ignoring real men.” “And you’re a real man,” I pushed him, “using me as a piece ass.” “You never gave me a chance!” “I’ve been sleeping with you for over 10 years Daniel. You never asked for one!” Daniel wedged me up against the counter. “I’m here now.” He waited for me to respond. When I didn’t he continued, “You really want to spend your life with someone that you have nothing in common with, that’s selfish, shallow and only cares about your looks and can’t satisfy you sexually.” By this time Daniel’s hand was inside my pajama pants massaging my clit. “No underwear.” He grinned. I tried to control myself but Daniel knew how to make my temperature rise. He leaned in and started to suck on my bottom lip and I just gave in. I kissed him rough and passionately fighting his tongue with mine and not wanting to let him go, when he finally broke free he was grinning hard and trying to hold back a laugh. “What?” I was angry and confused. “Calm down Shay.” He started to play with my engagement ring, “I like your ring.” Daniel looked me in the eyes, “It’s cute.” He started to laugh uncontrollably. “Your engagement’s a sham.” “I know.” I broke down. “I only said yes because I felt bad for breaking up with him for you, but he’s a jackass”. Daniel stuck the ring finger of my left hand into his mouth, slid off my engagement ring and spit it across the room. I didn’t try to stop him. “There’s only one thing left to do.” Daniel handed me his phone.
Marlon had no problems with the breakup. He even insisted I keep the ring, which was now stuck under my fridge somewhere. “You fake drunk well.” I told Daniel. “No, you just wanted to believe it.” He pulled me to him and started to kiss me. “I had to have you just for me.” “Yeah, but I’m not yours.” He ran his hands up my midsection, grabbed my breast and caressed my harden nipples with his thumbs; “you sure about that?” No “Very.” We both took off our shirts and stared at each other. “Why are you here?” Daniel turned me around and bent me over the counter, “Just wanted to stop you from making a mistake.” He pulled down my pajama pants and rubbed his hard against my ass. A surge of wetness ran between my legs and a throbbing in my pussy that I couldn’t ignore. Daniel ran his fingertips along my shoulders and planted kisses on my neck. I tried to move, but he pushed me back and planted my hands on the counter. “Don’t move.” Daniel grabbed my hips and rammed his anaconda into me. “Oh shit!” he entered me more aggressive than usual. Daniel had that outrageously big thick dick that all women claim they want and can handle, but most were scared to lose their vaginal walls to (me included on some occasions). He pushed my pussy to maxim capacity and my body attempted to squeeze the life out of the massive intruder. “Is it all in?” I asked. He laughed, bit the clamps on my bra and pulled at them until my bra popped off. “Of course not,” He shoved the remainder of his length into me. He grabbed my breast and started to hammer into me. He was going at it so fast that my body didn’t have time to recover from the previous stroke before the next one came. His dick game was so adept that I could feel it in my throat trying escape out my mouth. Daniel lifted my leg so he could get a better angle, “you miss this dick?” he teased my pussy with the tip of his dick. “Come on,” I moaned practically begging Daniel to fill me up once more. I tried to push myself onto his dick put he held me so I couldn’t move. “You want this dick?” his smooth baritone voice asked. “Yes, please baby.” I couldn’t take the waiting any longer. He finally gave in and entered me. “Fuck yeah.” I exclaimed as he thrust into me. I could feel my ass slap against his abs as we fucked. “You feel so good.” He whispered in my ear. He bit and sucked on my shoulders and continued to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. He called me his Nubian goddess, his queen and his love.
I broke free from Daniel and pushed him up against the counter. I licked in a straight line up and down his body. I kissed his lips and licked across his dick that glistened with juice. I took the head in my mouth and playfully sucked. He pulled his dick out and tapped it on my tongue. I took the head back into my mouth and twirled my tongue around it. I took the monster completely into my mouth and it threatened to choke the life out of me, but I was a pro and sucked the ruler length rod like a 3 inch popsicle stick. I increased my speed until I was sucking so fast that I would put a bobble head to shame. I peeped Daniel’s face that appeared to be in complete ecstasy. “Suck me baby.” He rubbed the back of my head. I felt Daniel about to come, he grabbed a handful of my hair, I held him completely in my mouth and the warm goo ran down my throat. “You swallowed?” Daniel said in shock as this would be only my third time swallowing his juices and unbeknownst to him swallowing period.
I led Daniel to the chaise in my living room where he returned the favor by licking my cocoa valley until I screamed so loud that the neighbors now knew his name. He picked up, spread my legs and entered me once more. Once he gained his rhythm he laid over me in a push up position, stared straight into my eyes and made love to me until he came inside me. “I love you.” He kissed my nose and forehead then rolled off of me. “I love you too.” I said in return.
“What do we do now?” I asked when Daniel returned from the kitchen. He tossed my clothes to me. “I don’t know for sure.” He grabbed my left hand and slid on a heart shaped diamond ring with his teeth. “I’m down grading from an engagement ring, but I think you will appreciate-,” “a soul mate ring.” We said in unison. “By you keeping on this ring you’re finally agreeing that we are more than friends and a date tomorrow night.” He thought for a moment, quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. “I wanted to show you something.” He pulled out a purple Crocus flower and a lavender Verbena flower both broken from its stem and flatten from being in his wallet. “Remember what you use to call these flowers?” Daniel held a flower up in each hand. “They’re my love flowers; each day the Crocus survives is a year of love for the couple.” “What about this one?” He asked with a grin. “Each day the Verbena survives represents a year of passion and excitement for the couple.”
Daniel sat down next to me and kissed me on my shoulder before laying his head there. “On the day I ran into Marlon I had already brought your ring, purchased a mixed bouquet of love flowers, and had all the ingredients I needed to make you dinner. The only thing left to do was get some champagne and head on over to you, but as always I was late.” He began to stroke his thumb across a picture of us in his wallet. “When I found out about you and Marlon I went home and trashed the flowers; but a few of them broke off on the coffee table and sat there with no sun light, and no water. Somehow the flowers still survived and every day I passed by them expecting to see them shriveled up they were as vibrant and beautiful as you are, so instead of throwing the flowers away I decided to come to you.”
When Daniel looked over at me the tears were already flowing freely. I never heard him talk that way about anyone before. He kissed a tear on my face and sucked it in. He wiped the tears from my face, “don’t cry my love.”
“You’ve always treated me so well.” I kissed him, caught my breath then kissed him again. Daniel started to lay back and pull me on top of him. “Look at you getting fresh?” I laughed. “I’m ready for round three,” He smiled as he positioned our bodies for me to ride him. I pulled down his boxers and positioned my already naked body over him. “We’ll see about that.” Long story short I said yes on being Daniel’s girlfriend, yes a year later to being his wife and I do 8 months after that.
